An amazing turkey I once met

Here is an essay I wrote many years ago. I offer it again as this year's Thanksgiving holiday approaches.

His name was Tom and he lived in Douglas, Wyoming. His owner was a man named Jim Herrick, who makes and sells jackalopes. Jim's uncle, in fact, invented the jackalope in taxidermy. I ran into Jim one day while RVing through Douglas. He said he'd show me his jackalopes. So I went to his workshop, where there was a wall-full of jackalopes. It was an impressive sight.

Jackalopes, in case you do not know, are half jackrabbit and half antelope. They have antlers. Jackalopes are nocturnal, which is why you seldom see one in the wild. They generally show up only outside rural taverns late a night. They mate only during lightning storms. Males and females sing duets. People who have heard them say they sound like Roy Rogers and Dale Evans.

Afterwards, out front, I met Tom. He was a big turkey — not handsome, nothing special to look at. But he seemed friendly. Jim told me he had a special talent. I asked what. "He belches," Jim said. I didn't believe him. But Jim showed me. He grabbed Tom, wrapped his arms around the bird's chest, squeezed, and -- wowie! Tom let lose with a belch the size of all Wyoming! Jim told me more about Tom. Not only did he belch, but he wanted to better himself. "Everyday he walks to the bus stop with the kids when they go to school," Jim said. "But everyday, the driver leaves him behind."

A FEW WEEKS LATER I returned home from my trip. And I wrote an article about Tom. I wrote about his impressive baritone belch and his desire to get an education. It was just a little story. That's what I thought.

In mid-November, my phone rang. It was the Tonight Show. "We want Tom on the show," a producer said. "We want him to burp on Thanksgiving." She asked if I could help them find the fowl. I said sure.

I called Jim. I asked about Tom. "He's not here," Jim said. "He's dead." I was stunned. "He got hit by a car on the way back from the bus stop. Somebody ran over him on purpose."

It was a sad day. I told the Tonight Show that Tom was unavailable to belch due to death.

And that was that.